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[handsheld]

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[handsheld]

My Master looked at me when no one else would.

[ That's not quite the same, it might be more, but he won't explain without being prompted. ]

[idologue]

[ There's the ominous 'Master' again. What a lonely way of meeting such a person. ]

Did he accept what he saw?

cw; gore ig

[handsheld]

Right away. Before I even understood myself. He reached out to me when no one would look at me, let alone touch me. He took me in without an ounce of fear or disgust.

Everyone else just told themselves that I was someone else's problem. That a hero would come to take care of me, but they took one look at me and didn't want anything to do with me or convinced themselves that they had something better to do.

I was a mess yeah, with bits of my family under my nails and my own blood caked on my skin. But I was five.

[idologue]

[ Lacus had suspected as much since they talked about his quirk awakening, so there is no real shock in the confirmation that his family fell victim to an ability that none of them could have expected. There's just heavy sadness, because Lacus remembers being five years old and losing her mother, through no fault of her own, and how that hurt. She cannot begin to comprehend how Tomura must have felt. ]

Tomura...

[ There is nothing she can say to such a story that wouldn't sound trite, so after a moment of pause, she decides to return to the topic. ]

... what I shared with Lobelia may have been like a fragment of that experience. He looked right at me, past the facades.

[handsheld]

[ He doesn't mind, and she should know him well enough by now that he doesn't expect any pity. The memory of all that is light nowadays, airy, just like his stark white hair. ]

So like my allies then. We accept each other even if we're all insane in different ways.

[ .... ]

I've lost one of them before you know, Big Sis Magne. [ That might be funny to hear from his mouth but it's what she wanted to be called and it's what she was, and it's said with endearment. ]

It was my fault, I should've seen it coming. But what are you gonna do now that he's gone?

[idologue]

[ So that's what the 'allies' are. Lacus thinks she understands Shigaraki a lot better with this - the feeling Lobelia inspired in her, that embrace of acceptance... Yes, certainly, such a group would mean the world to you. ]

... I'll carry the memory of his sound with me, into my chosen future. It's all I can do, no?

[ Lobelia had wanted this for her, too. There is no better way to honor him than to remain as she was, his antithesis. ]

[handsheld]

No.

Do you think that's all I did after he took Big Sis Magne from us? I paid him back and took everything from him, cuz that's what she was to us. She wasn't just a piece on a Shogi board and I wasn't gonna be satisfied with just a life for a life like he was.

[ Given their proximity she'll feel it more than she did last time, the very way his hatred and raw energy seep into the air. ]

So I'll ask you again: 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙙𝙤?

[idologue]

[ Ah. Lacus turns in the sand, so she can look at him more directly - even despite the way her hair stands on end at the sight of that glimmer in his eyes. It's hard to stand being close to him sometimes, and that in itself makes her want to get closer and breathe it in, until she understands completely and yet is still standing. In that regard, what she feels for Tomura and what she felt for Lobelia aren't dissimilar. ]

... you're right. It's not that it is all I can do, it's that it is what I have decided to do.

[ She appreciates that he called this out to her, dragged her out of feeling merely resigned to an inescapable fate. ]

Who am I to hate for this? Vergilius, for making Lobelia fall in love? Beelzebub, for being the one to give the cue for the beginning of the end? You, for ending his beloved misery? Your 'partner' and you again, for bringing us here? I won't.

If I think about Lobelia and I, then I may owe you and this island a debt of gratitude for allowing the miracle of our friendship in the first place. The nature of our bond does not require vengeance. It would be the greatest disgrace to his memory if I became anything less than the person he has come to admire - and it would be a disgrace to myself.

[handsheld]

That's better.

[ The energy drops just like that, intentional or not. ]

It's 'bout what you want, what you need to be your real self. It doesn't need to be any more complicated than that.

[idologue]

[ For just a short moment, all Lacus can do is breathe. Inhale, exhale. Feel the sand under her legs and the air on her skin. Ground herself.

Then she smiles, warmly. ]

You're good at this.

[handsheld]

Eh? [ He shifts a bit to pick up a handful of sand that he then lets slip through his fingers. ]

I'm a leader you know, even if it took me a while to rank up this skill.

[idologue]

You're not really motivating your group right now, though.

[ Which is why the idea of leadership skill didn't even cross her mind. It felt more like she was being cheered up by a friend... and that is a dangerous line of thought to follow. ]

Why did you come here tonight?

[handsheld]

I've seen that look before, so I knew you were in your head. And cuz I wanted to.

[ It's an easy response even if the situation isn't really one. But that's just how Shigaraki is. ]

[idologue]

[ The last time they talked about touching, Lacus had not really wanted to. She'd been scared, still, even as she was willing to take that gamble.

Right now, she'd like to take his hand and the only reason she refrains from it is the knowledge that her desire for contact is not mirrored. ]

... thank you. I'm glad that you're here. I feel better for it.

[handsheld]

Stop talkin' so seriously. [ It's not a strong pushback all things considered, as in the next moment he reaches over and just pokes her in the forehead. ]

[idologue]

--ah?

[ That was unexpected, but not unwelcome in the slightest. Her smile widens a little. ]

My, I'm afraid being a little sentimental is just part of my real self though!

[handsheld]

Uh-huh. [ Again it's not dismissive, just his version of affirmation. ]

If that's how you feel that's fine. You're probably gonna get bugged about it though, that explosion guy was starin' at me. [ Shuda, his name is Shuda, but Shigaraki can't be bothered with names for some people. ]

[idologue]

[ Explosion guy...? There's a moment of elevator music in Lacus' head before she's run through the powersets enough to land on a person with explosion powers who was present at her breakdown. Yes, Shuda was right next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. That makes sense. ]

... ah. Well, I doubt anybody will be surprised now, if I reveal that I am fond of you.

[ The only benefit of Lobeliagate is that this friendship is objectively less awful, probably. ]

But even if I am confronted on the matter, it would be for the best to continue keeping our in person meetings a secret.

[handsheld]

[ When the MM is less bad than Lobelia...

There's a second or two of staring because "fondness" is kinda... but he lets it pass without comment. ]

I don't wanna deal with anyone annoying either. I think most of them got the message the first week and just bug Overhaul which works for me.

[idologue]

[ Lacus endures the brief moment incredulous staring without any apparent reaction. ]

We talk a reasonable amount - if anyone asks, that is all they need to know, then.

[ She's not about to spill Shigaraki's personal matters to everyone here unless they may somehow become relevant to their continued survival. ]

I'm not receiving any advantage from you anyway.

[ Lacus hopes the others will recognize the truth of that, if it comes down to it. ]

[handsheld]

What'd that even look like? I'm not in the business of protecting.

[ It's an honest question. ]

[idologue]

[ That makes Lacus think for a moment as well. ]

Mhm... You could be feeding me extra information about the movements of potential killers? Or about locations on this island, I suppose. Information could go a long way in closing the gap created by my low level of fighting prowess.

[handsheld]

I basically told you 'bout the arcade before you had access, didn't I?

[idologue]

Ah! That is certainly true. Though at the time, I did not think I would be gaining access. What I took from it was the knowledge that you weren't on the same island, though.

[ Which she did share with the group, so nobody can fault her for anything. Ta-dah!! ]

[handsheld]

[ A slight shrug. ]

It's not that complicated I just go wherever I want.